What's Love Got to Do With it?

Is it that people just don't want to be lonely?  I've heard my hubby say several times 'well at least they've got somebody to come home to'.  Really??  I truly believe you can be in a room filled with people and be all alone.  I believe you can be in a relationship for years and be all alone.  I believe you can be in a marriage and be all alone.  It's not having the other person there that makes the relationship ... it's knowing there's a connection, a mutual respect, love, understanding, compassion, caring and something beyond the physical.

I always observed my Grandma and her husband (not my biological grandfather, but I loved him with all my heart) in their marriage.  I remember how they let everyone know it was their 25th anniversary ... we were in the kitchen, he was sitting at the table, she fixed him coffee (the way he liked it), they both looked at each other and kind of sighed.  Then she went back to the kitchen stove to finish fixing breakfast.  I looked up at him ... confused ... then he said 'Yup, 25 years.  That's when it hit me it was their anniversary.  I got excited thinking there was going to be a celebration of some sort .... but there wasn't.  He got up, put on his hat and headed out to start his shift.  She cleared the table and we began to wash dishes. 

I'd always known they slept in separate rooms and never thought anything of it.  They seemed to be content with their arrangement.  I could tell he would do anything in the world for her and she was always supportive of him.  It was years later, after he had passed away, that my Grandma shared with me they married for companionship.  And that's what they were ... the perfect companions. 

I find myself looking over my life now ... remembering when I knew without a doubt any future marriage for me would end up the same way (don't ask me, just had a feeling).  Well ... we haven't made it to separate rooms or even separate beds for that matter, but we are in that companionship phase of our marriage.  I always tell younger people to develop a friendship first, then work on the love thing.  If you go into a relationship with only a physical attraction, when the physical starts to fade away .... what are you going to do?

It's so hard these days to feel secure in knowing someone truly loves you for you and not for your status, money or material things.  I do know once you find that person who loves you unconditionally, who doesn't throw your past back at you, who doesn't do for you expecting something in return, who trusts you and who believes in you .... that's a friendship you should build upon. <3 <3 <3