I knew my online shenanigans had gotten really bad when my hubby sent me a text message and he was sitting across the room?!?!?!?!?!?! He actually felt the only way I would acknowledge him was by sending me a text. Too funny and sad at the same time. That one made me shut down the laptop, grab a pillow and crash next to his chair for some 'WE' time. Now I make a habit of signing off all electronic devices and focusing on him for a few hours every day and still have time for 'MY' peace.
I'v never been one to like arguing and will even leave the room to avoid disagreements, but ... once you suck me in and get me started ... woooooooooooooooo!!!!!! I'm that person that has to have the last word. I'm stubborn, I always think I'm right, I cry when I get mad and I'm a fighter (none of that swinging my arms in the air ... no baby ... I'll punch you square in the chest and take the air that you're breathing). That means my partner has to be able to stand up to me. I've never done well with 'soft' guys however, I didn't want someone that was going to use me as a practice bag either.
My relationships appear to have run the full spectrum; some very abusive (insert I Will Survive right here while I twirl around the room) and some would have put Mister Rogers to sleep. Of course all I ever wanted was someone to love and understand me; accept me ... flaws and all . I had to kiss a lot of frogs before I ended up with my Prince and even he has a tarnished crown. I truly believe that line I read somewhere ... "Everyone comes with baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack."
I guess today's blog is more about clearing my head; trying to write out a few things so I can see where I'm going. Believe it or not, this helps with my journey to a healthier life too. You have to approach your journey holistically; heal yourself from within and work your way to your outer self. I'm trying to take a critical look at all the things in my life, because all of it affects me.
As for me finding peace in our home ... well ... I have my days of wanting to dramatically storm out the door or putting in ear-thingys to listen to music however, as long I as remember that even when we have our moments, we know we were meant to be together and that's what keeps us ... TOGETHER.
