Why is it when a person within a group of people is discussing some major event in their life we immediately come up with some story to join the discussion? What’s worse is we feel that it has to be something of major importance … at least to those listening. We feel the need to always be connected to some tragedy, major drama or whatever is popular at the moment? When all we’re really doing is just trying to be relevant or draw the attention back to us. I know of people who have absolutely nothing to do with 9-11, yet they seem to take great pleasure in saying ‘I know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone that related to someone that knows someone that worked at a restaurant 10 miles from the Towers, but they took off from work that day (????????????). So exactly how did that affect you at your place of work … here in the lovely city of Petersburg??????? And most importantly … why did you feel it was worth sharing????
That’s just one of many situations/moments I’ve had to listen to because someone innocently started a conversation about a situation/moment in their life. I sometimes sit there in awe while the person attempts to link the connection to the event and it’s always the person who is the least connected to the actual event (smh). I know, I know … you’re saying just stop hanging around those people or don’t entertain the conversation … yeah … but when it’s a ‘sneak attack’ …
It’s even worse when it occurs during what should be a time of sharing, support and encouragement. We get into these support groups and before you know it … it has turned into a ‘one-up’ contest. I’ve known survivors to become upset when they didn’t win a door prize for being the longest survivor. One person actually went to the organizers of one event and requested the winner be made to produce medical documentation showing her date of diagnosis … really?? People begin to sit around telling one horror story after another in an attempt to make the journey seem harder than yours. I find that very disheartening and it turns others off as well as discourages them from attending a support group.
One thing we as survivors should strive to do is encourage and uplift each other. I’m not saying walk around with a crazy smile 24 hours a day, but I am saying don’t be the reason someone else decided it wasn’t worth the fight.
Always remember, in all things, we are blessed to be a blessing.
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