Why Me?

I've been told people constantly come to me with drama because I allow them to constantly come to me with drama.  I've always thought it was because people considered me a good listener, a shoulder to lean on or a source of comfort.  But recently a dear friend has given her take on the situation.  She always says 'See Be ... folks don't come to me with that dumb sh*t and you need to stop them from bringing it to you.  How am I supposed to feel about that?  What am I supposed to do? 

I admit I don't have to get in the middle of the mess, but I don't want to hurt someone's feelings by saying 'take it somewhere else'.  The problem is I usually get sucked into the middle of the mess (sigh) and before I realize it … I own the drama as if it were mine.  I don’t like to see people hurt, abused, taken advantage of or disrespected and I tend to get very defensive … sometimes to my detriment.

I always talk about how we do things to remain ‘relevant’ and I guess that’s my thing, the need to feel needed.  Empathy, compassion, caring, concern … all traits I like to think I possess and are considered good.  But I’m learning when you allow those traits to become the reason YOU constantly end up in the middle of some drama … ‘Houston, we have a problem’.  I believe we start to seek out those we feel need our protection … the downtrodden, the huddled masses yearning to be free … you get the picture.  All because we want to remain relevant; we want to be viewed as the one that’s always there for you … the one who you can count on to pull you out of that bad situation.  WoW … is that similar to a god-complex?  Funny … I’ve never thought of myself as having a god-complex, but once I started typing it started to read as if that’s my issue.  All those things I mentioned are what God is supposed to be … to do … who we tell others He is … a present help in the time of trouble.

Recently I’ve had several conversations in that TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE have asked me ‘… but what does that have to do with you?’  Each time I found myself floundering for a justification … not an answer, a justification … because the answer was it had nothing to do with me.  I have to really watch myself … be more cognizant of my behavior and take conscious steps to remove myself from the drama … that has nothing to do with me.