You just don't know what I've been going through, You just don't know how I've been missing you
You just don't know how glad I am that you're back, You just don't know, you just don't know
You just don't know all these tears I've cried, You just don't know how I feel inside
You just don't know how good it feels to have you back …
Those beginning lines are the ones I have realized I constantly sing … out loud; so much so my hubby has started humming the song and can’t figure out why. I think it’s the holiday season that makes us more cognizant of what we ‘feel’ we are missing in our lives, our jobs, our relationships … our homes … as we look longingly at others who appear to have everything together. Now with social media it’s even more painful as we see picture after picture of perfect couples, perfect families, perfect homes and oh-so perfect pets. I think we forget social media allows (now more than ever) to put on the face we want everyone to see. We forget no one is perfect. Every family, every relationship … has issues … I mean … really … even the Cosby family had “Cousin Pam” (made myself giggle).
I have never found myself wishing I had the type of relationship someone else had/has, but I have heard women (and a few men) say they wished for my relationship. This, of course, would leave me speechless and immediately I would begin to mentally re-evaluate how I portrayed my relationship. I have always told myself I don’t put up a fake or phony show for people … it is what it is … but I do give credit where credit is due and my hubby is a great partner on his good days. I think people tend to only hear the good stuff and trash everything else. I have always tried to be honest and I have never over-romanticized anything … again … it is what it is. One of the stories I know people love to hear is how we reconnected. They get all teary-eyed and end with ‘you two were meant to be together’. Some days I agree and some days I don’t.
Whenever I talk to people about relationships I always remind them to become friends first and let the physical aspect be the bonus. When I met my hubby the first time he was in the military. Slim waist, broad, muscular shoulders, beautiful thighs and very athletic. I was always a full-figured girl and around that time I had toned a bit, so I was a very shapely thing. The second time we met (13 years later) we both had put on a few pounds, moved a little slower, but overall … we were pretty good. The physical does fade away. Thankfully we developed a friendship; we learned we could keep each other laughing.
That friendship has come in very handy over these 11 plus years. I have a very little patience for drama, do NOT like to argue and don’t like to be controlled. All of these things are found within our relationship and many days I have just wanted to walk away. Those are the moments (after we have calmed down) we remind ourselves how we met and later … how we met again. Unfortunately, with each disagreement things are said or done that you can't take back. For me, that's not a good thing, as each occurrence chips away at the only thing we have left, Love.
This Christmas (not the song) I found myself wishing for what we used to have ...
You just don't know what I've been going through, You just don't know how I've been missing you
You just don't know how glad I am that you're back, You just don't know, you just don't know
You just don't know all these tears I've cried, You just don't know how I feel inside
You just don't know how good it feels to have you back …
No comments:
Post a Comment